Anniversary.

Today's the day. You died at 6:32 pm a year ago today. I had plans for some stuff to do today to show you that I remember and that I love you, but it was rainy and gray. You know how the weather affects me. At least it matched my mood. It's been pouring since about two pm so I have basically been holed up in the house with the kids. They are in bed now, J is at school, and I should be doing homework, but I can't seem to focus. I'm giving myself permission to be unfocused for today. Life just isn't the same without you Mom. I suppose that's the way that it goes, but it doesn't make it any better or easier.

I miss you mom.

As the anniversary of your death draws closer I keep thinking of this time last year. You were so sick but you were still alive. I guess I thought I was supposed to be "done" greiving you by the time a year had passed. I am not done grieving though. I have done some tasks to try to move forward, but I miss talking to you. So these posts will be my letters to you. I know that somehow it will help me, and that your energy will know that I still love you.